A Royal Invitation

The Royal Wedding this weekend uniting Prince William of Wales and Catherine “Kate” Middleton is an important historic event in the United Kingdom and all around the world. Preparations have been made in meticulous fashion, with beautiful garments, venues, jewels, riches, and the finest earth has to offer. Pomp and circumstance is planned second by second to the very minute details.

I posted a joke on my Facebook wall saying:  “Jim and I have decided not to attend the royal wedding after all. When the seating chart came out, we realized he’d have to sit by Camilla, and I’d be sitting between Elton John and his boyfriend!”

That post got lots of comments, including one from Kathleen who said, “I’d sit by anyone or between anyone to get to go.”  The TV networks have pulled out all the stops to draw in what they expect to be 2.5 billion viewers. So, unless you’re willing to stay offline and watch no TV tomorrow, you will be a royal wedding guest in one way or another.

But some people simply aren’t the least bit interested in the wedding. Jim is one of the few who won’t be watching. As a pastor, he’s had to attend many weddings, and probably would have declined most of those invitations had he not been the officiating minister. It’s very low on his list of favorite things to do, right down there with grocery shopping and going to the dentist.

But he’s the exception. The truth is, most of us would be thrilled to get an invitation. After all, it’s being dubbed as the wedding of the Century. Kate is a commoner, yet she has been accepted by the Royal Family because of William’s love for her and her willingness to submit herself to the rigorous lifestyle expected of a royal.

Who among us wouldn’t have attended the nuptials of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip or Prince Charles and Diana, given the choice? We would be happy to rearrange our schedules (as the Brits pronounce it “shed-ules”) to attend.  We would make the necessary financial sacrifice to buy the best wedding attire we could afford so that our presence would be acceptable and a compliment to the bride and groom, not an embarrassment.

There is one royal wedding that we have all been invited to. But it does require some preparation on our part. First, we must accept the invitation graciously extended to us by the King. We must also be wearing a proper wedding garment, which has been freely provided to us—a robe of righteousness. We must present ourselves pure and clean when we arrive, a testimony that we have been washed in the blood of the Lamb and are spotless because of his sacrifice.

The book of Revelation (19:7-9) tells us of the Marriage of the Lamb where the Bride of Christ, the Church, will be clothed in fine, white linen and joined to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. What a great and glorious day it will be! The Bride is a common sinner and not worthy, yet she has been accepted into the Royal Family because of Christ’s love for her and her willingness to submit herself to the King.

Every preparation has been made, according to John 14:2. Heaven has been decked with jewels, riches, and beauty beyond our comprehension just for our enjoyment (1 Corinthians 2:9). All of our cares, sorrows, tears, and pain will be over, and unimaginable joy awaits us (Revelation 21:4).

Sadly, there are a few people who aren’t the least bit interested in this wedding either. They are unwilling to accept the invitation, though a great price has been paid to include them. They have discarded their invitation, trampling the blood of Christ that was paid for their admittance. They don’t feel the wedding garment suits them, and will not wear it. Oh, what a loss it will be, but once they realize it, it will be too late.

If you haven’t accepted your royal invitation, don’t wait another day. Don’t miss the greatest event in history!

What's in a Name?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

These words were spoken to Romeo by Juliet in the famous play written by Shakespeare. Names are so essential to us that we give them to people, places, things, animals, plants, everything. In a recent blog by my friend Kathy Henderson, she talked about the titles she has had over the years. It brought to my mind some of the monikers I’ve had through the years.

When I was born, my name was somewhat of a controversy. My mother wanted to name me after her maternal grandmother Judith Cox. My Dad was not too keen on the idea, because Judith was the name of a book in the Catholic Bible and a title character who was not the best role model. After much debate, I was given the name, but have been called “Judy” most of my life. 

I was the youngest and last of five girls, and Mother always referred to me as her “baby girl.” I didn’t particularly like that title, because I wanted to be grown up like my older sisters. But as I got older, it didn’t seem as bad because I realized it was more a term of endearment than a commentary about my age or maturity.

In fifth grade, I followed in my four sisters’ footsteps and earned a title that I loved and really enjoyed for the next four years, “Cheerleader.” Eventually our family grew to 15 children. As our clan increased in size, we were always referred to as group instead of individually. We were the “Combs kids.” My Dad was well-known in our area because he was a building contractor and businessman. He was well-respected, so I was proud of being a Combs and being associated with his company name.

Daddy was also a pastor, so we were often referred to as the “preacher’s kids.” Now to some people, that has a negative connotation, because people often put a preacher’s family up to scrutiny, and we don’t always pass their tests. But I was proud of my preacher/pastor Dad, and never felt that he or Mother expected anything more of us than they would have otherwise. They expected us to do what was right, because it was right, not because we were being scrutinized.

Throughout high school, there are labels for groups at each level of achievement, and the “freshman and sophomores” are low on the totem pole. I felt good when I could call myself a “junior” and even better, a “senior.” In 1964, I achieved the new title, “Graduate,” which made me feel pretty proud. At college, I became a freshman again but added another title that seemed pretty cool to me, “coed.” This last for only a year before I left college and got married.

 After marrying I not only gained the title of “wife,” but the added title of “preacher’s wife.” Some people don’t know what to call their pastor’s wife, and we end up with some funny tags. Among a few I've had are:  “Sister Puckett,” “Mrs. Preacher,” “Reverend Mrs. Puckett,” and “The Holy Woman.” Don’t laugh…I know that last one doesn’t fit! It came from a neighbor man who was slightly mentally challenged. Upon seeing my car approaching, he called out to several children who were playing in the road, “Get out of the way and let The Holy Woman come through!”

Two of my favorite titles have been “Mom” to our three children, and “Mimi” to our seven grandchildren. These are probably the titles I am most proud of, because I feel they were indeed a calling and ministry that God gave me. I loved being a mother, and have enjoyed being a grandmother equally as much. I’ve had great fun watching and helping my grandchildren grow into the wonderful people I knew they would.

I was blessed to be a stay-at-home Mom with my children until they started school. At that time, I began working part time in our church ministry, and held various jobs both inside and outside the church. I’ve been the “Teacher” to our kindergarten classes, the “Cook” for our church daycare, and even served as the “Janitor” in one of our churches.

Later I entered the business world and earned my insurance license, becoming an “Agent.” I also worked as an “Executive Secretary and Administrative Assistant,” for almost 20 years at OG&E. During my tenure at OG&E, I went back to school, earned a BS in Business, and became a “College Graduate.” Within a few years, I enrolled once again and earned a MA in English/Writing, achieving my lifelong goal to become a “Writer.”

Using those skills, I recently checked off another line on my bucket list and became an “Author.”  I had been working on my book for more than ten years, and probably gathering materials for about 15 years, when I finally published it in 2010. Having done that, I began to allow myself to enjoy other writing projects I kept putting off until my book was done.

When I left OG&E, I got the title of "Retiree," which is actually quite nice. Lately, I realized I have achieved another title, one which many of us dread. The AARP informs me that I am now a “Senior Citizen.” It’s not really my favorite, but it does have its perks at restaurants, hotels, ballgames, and other places that offer a lower price for seniors. I am especially happy to be a senior citizen when I look around and realize that many of my former peers are no longer on this earth.

I'm very patriotic, and have always been proud to be called an "American."

Every name has a special meaning, but no name means as much to me as being called a “Christian.” It is the most important title I’ve ever received. Our pastor says it originally meant little Christ. This Easter week has been a time of reflection for me, and I have thought about how little I’ve done to deserve God’s favor. “Christian” is a title that I could never earn, but I’m so thankful for God’s grace in bestowing that title upon me.

Tis the power of the Cross:

Christ became sin for us,
Took the blame, bore the wrath,
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Accentuate the Positive – Eliminate the Negative

Every great accomplishment begins with a positive attitude. The Bible teaches that we all have gifts, and each of us has much to offer. But if we’re not careful, a negative attitude could keep us from even trying to accomplish anything.

When you think of great accomplishments in the Bible, Moses probably comes to mind. He is also a good example of someone who had to get over his own negative attitude before God could use him. 

When God wanted to lead His people out of Egyptian slavery, He chose Moses as the leader. Exodus 3-4 tells the story of his burning bush experience. When he realized God wanted him to lead Israel out of Egypt, Moses asked God, “Who am I that I should go before Pharaoh…?”  God assured Moses that he would be with him.

Then Moses argued with God that no one would listen, and that the people of Israel wouldn’t accept him. He said, (paraphrasing) “Suppose they ask…Who died and put you in charge?”  He told Moses to say "I AM" has sent me.

Next Moses worried out loud, “What if they don’t believe me?” 

In response, God asked Moses a question, "What is that in your hand?"  He wanted to build Moses confidence so he could believe in himself as a leader.

Moses answered, "It's just a rod." Moses was right, it was just a stick.

To this argument, God gave him a visual aid to prove that Moses had God’s power at his disposal. He could do miracles! When Moses threw it on the ground at God’s command, it became a serpent, and turned back into a stick when he took up the serpent by the tail.

The power behind this miracle was Moses’ faith in God's power, not in the stick. He would later stretch that same stick out over the Red Sea in obedience to God’s command, parting the waters and allowing millions of people to pass through on dry ground to safety. 

Remarkably, Moses offered another argument: "I’m not eloquent.” God reminded Moses that it was He who made man’s mouth, and promised, “Now go; I will help you speak and teach you what to say.”

With one final argument, Moses begged God to “…please send someone else to do it.”

Can you imagine God’s exasperation! The Bible tells us He was angry, and with every right to be.

The Turning Point

Someone has said that our greatest ability is availability. God was trying to get Moses to offer himself. Finally it registered, Moses relented, and began ACTING instead of ARGUING. When God turned Moses’ negatives into positives, his confidence grew, and he became one of the greatest leaders of all time.

Moses saw only his shortcomings, and had at least six good negatives:

·         He felt he was a Nobody.

·         He feared rejection from his peers

·         He didn’t get it that he had power and authority under God.

·         He believed he had nothing to offer.

·         He was afraid to speak in public.

·         He knew others who were more qualified than he was.

God accentuated the positives, and eliminated the negatives:

·         God said, I am Somebody, and I will be with you.

·         God emphasized that they would not reject the “I AM” who sent him.

·         God gave Moses almost unlimited power and authority.

·         God chose to use the one thing Moses had to offer - himself.

·         God gave him Aaron as his mouthpiece, the equivalent of a press secretary.

·         God Himself equipped and qualified  him.

So now, take a look at your hands, and imagine that God is asking you, “What is that in your hand?” If nothing comes to mind, ask God to show you what small, simple thing you have that God can use to achieve great results for him.

Here are at least five things you can do with your hands:

1.     Fold them in idleness

2.     Wring them in despair

3.     Clench them in anger

4.     Surrender them to God for His use and glory

5.     Use them to help others

That’s what I think – now, tell me what you think!

Ten Tips for a Successful Marriage

Earlier this week, a Facebook friend asked a favor. She said, "I am doing a homework assignment for a Marriage and Family class, and am asking five individuals what they think is the secret to a successful marriage. What are your thoughts?"

After sharing my thoughts with her, I realized I'd just written my next blog! I decided to share them with others, with one caveat: I learned much of this the hard way - through the experience of doing it wrong!

Jim and I have been married almost 46 years, but we have struggled at times just like every other couple I know. We have made mistakes, asked forgiveness, and plodded forward sometimes when we didn't feel like it. Success is often as simple as just hanging in there until things get better!

I began my answer by quoting the Bible. Proverbs 14:1 says, "A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish woman tears it down with her own hands."

This verse tells us that we have a task to do. Building a successful marriage is hard work, and we must be proactive, not reactive. It doesn't take much effort to tear something down. If we are doing nothing to build it, we are basically accomplishing that destruction.

Here are several things to keep in mind:

1. NEVER consider or talk about divorce. It destroys trust and opens the door for doubt and discouragement.

2. Constantly reinforce your love, faith and trust in your mate by saying things that BUILD your relationship: For instance, I love you, I'd choose to marry you all over again, I value your opinion, I appreciate the effort you put into our family, I think you're a good father/mother, I love and respect your family, etc. 

3. There will always be give and take, but there is no 50/50 relationship. We must each try to give 100% because none of us is perfect, and we will fail. But the fact that our mate sees that we're trying our best is worth a lot.

4. Don't expect your mate to change his/her values after you are married. Ask God to change the things you dislike in your mate but cannot change. If He doesn't change a person, you can't do it. Accept what you cannot change as God's gift to sharpen you and make you a better person.

5. Respect one another and model that respect, especially when you are with others. Nothing hurts a relationship more than one of the parties being disrespectful or demeaning to the other.

6. Set goals and work together to accomplish them. Marriage is not a competition, but a collaboration. Many marriages fall apart because people don't have shared dreams and goals. They pursue separate interests and grow apart, often becoming resentful of their mate's achievements or success.

7. Communicate your feelings without blaming the other person. If you are disappointed that you haven't been able to do what you expected you could, express how you feel, but don't blame your mate.

8. Be realistic in your expectations. Don't assume that because you are deeply in love, everything will be smooth sailing. Both partners are imperfect, and conflict will arise. Try not to take it as a personal attack when he/she does not agree with your perspective or opinions. It has been said that if two people agree on everything, one of them is expendable.

9. Fight fair and then forgive. When you argue (not literally fight) say what is bothering you and why. Then when each person has expressed him/herself, own up to your part of the problem, apologize and ask forgiveness. Accept the apology and put it behind you - don't stew and rehash it.  

10. Live within your means and establish a budget. Decide who will control the finances and pay the bills. Determine how much each person is able to spend without asking your mate to approve it.

Successful marriages don't just happen - they are the result of hard work and a desire on the part of both partners to make it work! I know God has a plan for every life, and I'm thankful that bringing Jim into my life was a part of His plan for me. He is strong where I'm weak, and vice versa.

The conflict we often face in our marriages either make us or break us. If we allow God to use that conflict to help us improve, we become a better person, and our marriage is strengthened. When you face difficult times, remember that God perfects us through trials. And often when we look back on these times, we have to laugh at how immature we were, or how silly our arguments were. Give your marriage and all relationships to God, and He will bless you and others through them.

That's what I think...let me know what you think by posting a comment below.