D – I – V – O – R – C – E

A technology-challenged, 60-something father was trying out all the features of the new cell phone his daughter had helped him select. After showing him the basics, she went home leaving her proud father reading the manual and trying out more features. He decided to surprise her the next day by sending her a text message. However, he wasn’t quite quick enough to notice that the smart phone had auto corrected his message to read as follows:

Dad:    Your mom and I are going to Divorce next month. J

Daughter:  What!!! WHY????????  Call me ASAP!!!

Dad:    No, no, no.  I typed in Disney and the auto-correct changed it to Divorce.

This funny story is also sad because it’s almost a picture of the flippant way in which divorce is handled by some people. A neighbor visiting in our home began telling me of her upcoming divorce. I was truly upset and somewhat blindsided thinking she had come to me for advice. “Oh, no,” she smiled and assured me, “we’re both fine with it.”

Divorce has become so commonplace that it’s the subject of jokes and idle chatter. But that’s not a true picture of how it affects real people, and it’s certainly not God’s perspective. The Bible says in Malachi 2:16 that God hates divorce. As a casual acquaintance, I was more upset than my neighbor was about the dissolution of her ten-year marriage despite the fact that her little girl was listening. According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, about 22 million children in this country live in single-parent homes, children who are much more likely to fall victim to the many social ills that divorce breeds.

The website marriage101.org says the divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%; the divorce rate for second marriage is 60%; and the divorce rate for third marriage is 73%. The incidence rate for Christians is equally as high as non-Christians. The same website lists the top causes of divorce as: Money, Alcohol, Sexual issues, Immaturity, Jealousy, In-law problems, and Irresponsibility.

I just read a novel called The Pirate Queen by Patricia Hickman published by Waterbrook Press. It’s the story of a woman who had biblical grounds for divorce, and who was just about ready to leave her husband of thirty years when God intervened. She learned that DISappointments sometimes turn out to be HISappointments.

A statement she made stuck with me long after I finished the book. She said, “Love is not a feeling. It’s the actions you take whether you feel like it or not.” Some people seem to think that when they no longer feel loving, that releases them from their marital vows. We can’t trust our feelings because they change from day to day. We must act in love and commit to stay together even when we feel like giving up.

Too many people feel their marriage is the exception, and it’s okay for them to divorce because God understands. Don’t cop out on your mate or on God. Begin your marriage with the end in mind. Look 20 or 30 years down the road and imagine what kind of family you want to have. I assure you, it won’t be a fragmented family that you picture. If you ever attend a wedding where the parents of the bride or groom are divorced, you will readily see and feel the wounds the whole family suffers.

The result of staying together is that we leave a legacy of trust, security, commitment, and honor for our children to model their marriages after. Choose to stick with it, and you will be rewarded with greater tenacity, a feeling of accomplishment, a shared history, and the peace that comes with obedience. Your children will rise up and called you blessed, and your family will avoid many of the heartaches that follow divorce.

Tell me what you think by leaving a comment in the space below.

A Poem of God's Bountiful Gifts

Blackbirds

 by Judy Combs Puckett

Today a flock of blackbirds descended on my lawn

The sun had shone so brightly since early at the dawn.

They pecked along the cold, hard ground, eking out a meager meal

Content with only bits of grain. Inside and warm, I watched them still.

The flock was quickly joined by more; they shared the grain and seed.

None worried that another bird would take more than his need.

Although each bird appeared to be full black when they flew down,

I saw small feathers green and blue while gazing from the ground.

Their beauty was amazing. Such an intricate design

Of patterns pressed in feathers, now seemed one of a kind.

I saw anew, as God must see that each one was unique

Fulfilling its own purpose here, and He gave me a peek!

I wondered, if it had been I who was obliged to share,

Would I have welcomed graciously the new ones, without a care?

Suddenly, as tho’ a bell had rung, the entire flock took wing,

Perfectly timed and choreographed as if all heard it ring.

The sky was blackened as they rose, their feathers sleek and sable.

I watched them heading further south and went back to my table.

I thought of how the Scripture says: He sees the sparrow fall,

And not one hair falls from our head without His knowing all.

Why do we then, His chosen ones, anxiously worry and fret?

He deeply cares for you and me--a promise we may forget.

But if He puts inside the birds a compass and a mind

To show them how to navigate and where their food to find,

Why should we think He doesn’t know the many things we need,

To trust His goodness and his love, and at His table, feed.

Our Lord bestows abundantly more than we ask or think.

His cup is overflowing now, So come, and richly drink.

  ©   January 2011

Post a comment below and share how God has blessed you.

Love Is Something You Do

People say it makes the world go ‘round. It’s the subject of more songs and poems than any other topic. It is so important that a holiday has been dedicated to it. Go into any store this weekend, and you can’t miss the reminders. In our local Wal-Mart this week, I saw seven aisles dedicated to Valentine’s Day merchandise.

Since all of us tend to think about the subject of Love during the second week of February, I’m jumping on the bandwagon. But I’m not going to talk about the kind of love most people do—that magical feeling that makes us lose our appetite, and some might say, lose our minds!

We hear many things about love, but most of us understand so little about true, sacrificial love. Jim and I were part of an ensemble that presented a Valentine’s Day musical program several years ago. One of our songs said, “Love is something that’s real, love is something that’s true. Love is something you feel, but most of all, love is something you do.”

We tend to think of love as something ethereal …a feeling that’s hard to describe or put your finger on. But the Bible says that love expresses itself in very down-to-earth ways.  As 1 Corinthians 13 tells us, Love is patient, kind, not envious, boastful, or rude. It is not selfish or easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. Love protects, trusts, hopes, endures, and never fails. Does this describe your love for your mate, children, and others? It helps me see that my love often comes up short.

If you want to see a true love story, look to the kind of people who have spent their lives sacrificially giving to their families and to one another despite great hardship and despite the allure of other pleasures. Look to those who put their spouse’s and children’s needs ahead of their own. The kind of love that makes a Dad like mine go out day after day in the freezing cold or stifling heat to work long, hard hours providing for his family. The kind of love that makes a Mother like mine give up the hope of a life she might enjoy and dedicate her entire life to her husband, children, and family. The kind of love that keeps a man and woman together for 58 years, until they are parted by death, long after the magic of new love has faded away. That’s the definition of true love.

But if you want to see a perfect love story, look to Jesus, the Source of all love, and the One whose purpose in life was to give us eternal life. He left the splendor of Heaven knowing His destiny was death on a cross. His sacrificial love was an example of something we can never achieve, but only hope to emulate. When He was betrayed in Gethsemane, He reaffirmed that love, by not using His unlimited power to call legions of angels who could rescue Him immediately. It was not the nails, but that perfect love that held Him to the cross where he purchased our salvation at unspeakable cost.

Love is not cheap. In fact, it is the most costly thing we can give. As you give gifts to those you love this weekend, remember that your gift is only a symbol of what your actions show each day. Otherwise the gift is meaningless.

True love, sacrificial love, really is something we do. That’s what I think…what do you think? Share your thoughts about love with me and others by posting a comment below.

Welcome Home!

When we see all that's happening in our world today, our hearts and minds are troubled. We find great comfort in reading and thinking about the promise of Christ’s return. The Bible gives many signs of His return: wars and rumors of wars, nation rising against nation, signs in the sun, moon, and stars (weather changes), and earthquakes in diverse places. We’ve seen so many of these multiply over the last few years that the coming of Christ seems very close. Whether we are alive when He returns, or we meet Him in death, all of us long to hear Jesus’ words, “Welcome Home!”

Our daughter Lancia, who is a nurse, was due to arrive home after spending two weeks in Ivory Coast, West Africa, on a medical mission. It was an exciting day for all of us, especially for her husband Scott and her three children. Anticipating her arrival, I phoned the kids to see if they would like to make signs to welcome their Mom at the airport. Maybe because they had never seen it done, none of the three seemed excited about my suggestion. But I was really doing it for their mother, who I knew would enjoy seeing the kids holding signs and appreciate the extra effort made on her behalf.

Despite their lack of enthusiasm for sign-making, Jim, Marci (our second daughter), and I stopped on our way to the airport and bought the necessary materials. As Dad drove, Marci and I quickly worked in the back seat crafting signs with the appropriate welcome messages. It was not a pretty sight! Lines were not straight, the lettering was sloppy, and our decorations looked...well, homemade. We consoled ourselves that something messy was better than nothing.

Upon arriving at the airport and seeing our signs, the kids’ interest grew. Darcy, Jill, and Zane took the markers, sat down on the airport floor, and began writing notes, drawing hearts and adding decorations of their own. As they put their own hearts and emotion into it, the signs began to take on a very personal feel. Ever the hungry one, Jill wrote, "Welcome home, Mom. What's 4 dinner?"

What seemed unimportant to them an hour earlier was suddenly the focus of their attention, because each sign was a connection with their Mom who they had missed terribly and were so anxious to see. When Lancia arrived and eagerly scanned the crowd for familiar faces, her eyes were drawn to the welcoming messages and smiling faces of her family.

Through hugs, kisses and tears, we were reunited, and the signs became less important. The real welcome was not the sign, but the open arms and hearts of her loved ones. The signs were only a symbol of the real connection—our love for one another. The embodiment of love is a physical connection. We feel complete when we are with the ones we love.

When Jesus returns to receive His bride, all the trappings that are so important to us now—a church building, a Bible, our Christian books, our ministry—will fade away because they are only symbols. We will enjoy the real connection with Jesus—His unfailing, eternal love. We can’t feel the physical connection to Christ, but the spiritual connection is just as real. It is the embodiment of our love for Him and his love for us.

As an old song put it, “It will be worth it all, when we see Jesus.” We’ll feel complete when we are finally with the One we love. That’s what I think…what do you think?